


I didn't kiss him goodbye

by mothdotjpeg



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Goodbyes, Merluca - Freeform, Season 17 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 18:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30008949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothdotjpeg/pseuds/mothdotjpeg
Summary: || SEASON 17 SPOILERS ||Meredith wakes up from the beach, she missed him.
Relationships: Andrew DeLuca/Meredith Grey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	I didn't kiss him goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> did i almost hyperventilate because of this stupid episode? yes. yes i did
> 
> last warning for s17 spoilers

“You deserved more.” The sun was reflecting off the water in such a way, it would only last ten minutes but here it felt like it lasted forever. Pretty, too pretty. 

“So do you.” He was reflecting, watching the way the sun lingered in the sun for a moment too long. Did he notice that the colors were too serene and that nothing seemed to be off? When this was all off. 

“Andrew,” She watched his face, wishing he would just meet her gaze and say he would be fine. After all this, she didn’t want to lose more. It was selfish, she had the right to be selfish. Andrew gulped and glanced at her, but his gaze lingered like the sun. Watching the warmth on her face, her eyes pleading. 

“Mere,” It was the way that her name caught in his throat, he loved her. And she hated it. Hated that he was struggling, fighting to just keep his heart beating, but she hated that she couldn’t help but see his eyes in Andrew’s face. 

“I’ve had to lose so much.” Put on a brave face, keep fighting. It was so hard to fight. “I don’t want to lose anymore.” Andrew watched her, with the attentive care that she craved so badly. She knew he couldn’t reach out to touch her, they were almost a world away. On this dock, in this place. He was like George, he was like Derek. He would leave. 

“I thought you said you weren’t competitive here?” He laughed, looking back at the beach. The sun was still, the water lapped over and over again. Inching closer, about to wash it all away. Sometimes Meredith wished it all just washed away. 

“This isn’t real, Andrew.” She heard her own voice catch. Guilty. “I wish I could’ve saved you.” It was true. She would’ve crawled into that OR, she would’ve shoved her hands inside him and help him together. But here, there was no blood. No wound. Just Andrew. 

“I tried to save you too.” Meredith nodded, her body feeling so tired. So heavy. It hadn’t felt like that in so long. She felt Andrew turn to look at her as she looked at her hands. “I hope it was enough.”

“You were always enough.” He was more than enough. Maybe that’s why she pushed back because he loved her so much. Maybe she didn’t think she could have that again. Life was a lot of maybes. Maybe this place was simpler. 

“Meredith,” She looked up at his face, the kindness in his eyes. His strong hands reaching towards her, no. No, he can’t touch her- “Can I kiss you before you go?” 

“What?” His hands looked so big as they loomed towards her, she leaned away and looked at him. “Deluca, what’s happening?” He just smiled and grabbed her hand, so real and firm. So him. 

“You’re gonna be okay.” How did he know? How did he- 

“Meredith?” The light was so bright, the sounds were so loud. It was all so real, so real and not perfect. Not pretty. “Woah there,” Miranda. That was Miranda’s voice, Miranda’s hand on her back as she pushed herself up. She was okay. She was… “Meredith, can you talk?” 

“I didn’t kiss him goodbye,” Miranda’s gloved shot to her face and forced her to look into those warm eyes. Tears around them, a small smile.

“I’m so sorry,” He was gone. Andrew was gone. And she didn’t kiss him goodbye. 


End file.
